Long live Panini

It's Wednesday and I'm leaving Kabul tonight for Dubai and then on to J'burg tomorrow. Golf bag in tow. England flag with direct from Germany 2006 still encrusted in parts. Look out for a small England flag with Belgrade written across the middle red stripe. Immediately upon arrival in SA I need to collect my WC tickets, register a SIM card kindly provided by WC sponsors MTN, collect the rental card and drive, using Google map print outs, to my initial base at Rustenburg, venue for England's opening v USA on Saturday evening. So I'm all packed up. Three 'fake' wallets are stuffed with various currencies in the event that I'm pick pocketed, car-jacked or the like. Since I started this WC sojourn getting robbed in Barcelona during or following our opening game victory against Andorra, I intend not to close the tournament in the same fashion. This is what my international organisation calls 'lessons learnt'.

England's lacklustre performances in the three warm-up games this year are of real concern. Hopefully it is nothing more than learning from the likes of Germany and Italy, which notoriously start off WCs slowly before peaking at the final. The less optimistic view is that we have played too few games since we qualified way back in October 2009. South Africa, which seem to play two games a week of late, have risen from no-hopers for qualifying from their group a few months back to having a fighting chance to reach the last 16. Should this happen, the tournament will be all the better for the host nation's continued participation.

Rooney's temperament is also a big concern. He was booked for swearing at the ref during the warm-up game this week against a local side. Yesterday the BBC World Service aired a great interview with the local amateur ref from the match who referred to Rooney's lack of respect. The ref also seemed upset because Rooney did not pass him his shirt at the end of the game, as he apparently promised to do before kick-off. The ref explained that Rooney was his idol.

In an attempt to reset the image of England football fans, the official fan club has organised three fans' games against local opposition this weekend. Although I indicated my age and my lack of match fitness to them, I was surprised to learn I am one of the younger team members. On Friday we play against a school in Soweto before retiring to a local hostelry for the opening game, on Saturday against a college adjacent to the Rustenburg WC stadium and most exciting of all, on Sunday we play a prison side. The British High Commission has set up a game as part of the prisoners' rehabilitation programme. We have been notified of the strict searches prison authorities will carry out on our bodies before and after the game. No cameras; no fraternisation with prisoners. A pitch surrounded by dogs and horse-mounted officers. I picture quite a setting and no doubt a heavy defeat. After Kabul's notorious Puli-Charki prison, this will only be my second time banged up inside.

Panini sticker albums are all the rage in Belgrade and it fills me with great pride that my son has started his first collection. My teenage years collection lies safely somewhere at home, starting, I believe, with Espana 82. Long live Panini.